When i tell you that i am doign nothing while waiting for your call at night, you somehow dont believe what i say . Keep expecting me to say what am i doing when i am really doing nothing. Maybe you should try to be me one day .. I really was desperately and patient starring at my phone waiting for your call. As i am typing away now, i could feel the pain in my heart because you dont trust what i tell you.
I was watching this chinese series and this girl said something like that. She used to like a protrait which a customer of hers gave it to her. But one day when she realise that the painting was torn, she had to heartless throw it away becos its torn. No matter how well you mend it again, the tear will aways be there forever.
I guess that's what you have experienced, i've torn the desired realtionship which you always hope for. No matter how much love and care i show you, things will never be the same again. You always say prove it to you though time but i still sense that you are not gaining trust from me at all. You are still hurt and disappointed with me.
Seriously i really dunno how to prove to you how i feel for you, the kind of desperation and eagerness to have you by my side all the time. Although we barely meet up nowadays, i can proudly say that i still love you as much as before or even more. Your absences make me realise how important you are to me as i pray for you to be safe before i sleep every night. I pray for your safety when i see rain. I pray for your health and well-beings when i miss you. There are so many things in me i wanna tell you but its all not just words can describe.
I know its hard for you right now especially when they totally change your lifestyle and habits, making you rush here and there, tired you all out when it comes to training. Do you know how much tears i have shed after hearing from you how tough trainings can be at times.
You are always in my mind though i am in school. To ease my desperation, i had a pic of us as the wallpaper on your phone. It really helps alot you know? hehe
Now i understand why people like to put their partners photos. My SIM friends do play with my phone and i am totally fine with showing them my display pic :)
I love the way you call me whenever you are free, dun think i dun cherish the calls okie... I really love it baby..:P
Rwally hope that you can call me more often, i cant get enough of you darling. Tell me that you love and miss me as much as how i do.
Wo Ai Ni
WIth love,
